


Smolder

by vaenire



Series: (Crash and) Burn verse [2]
Category: xXx (Movies)
Genre: Domestic, Frottage, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 19:47:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12042996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaenire/pseuds/vaenire
Summary: It wasn’t that Xiang didn’t feel it for Xander-- really, he felt the same way. At this point, it would be cruel to keep this up with Xander if he didn’t.Xander was very obvious about it. The staring, the compliments, the way they went about living together and doing domestic shit like grocery shopping. Xiang had never been domestic before, but after living like this with Xander for well over a year now, he didn’t know how to go back. He could if he had to, but he liked what he had.And he loved Xander. He was scared to say it, to make himself that vulnerable and exposed, but he did.





	Smolder

**Author's Note:**

> this is the prologue for (Crash and) Burn but i figure it can be read as a oneshot as well

Xiang's found that the most awkward part of their new relationships is when one of them is sent on a solo mission. And the most awkward aspect of the solo mission, for him, is coming home in the middle of the night. 

It was his third time rapping on the apartment door before a groggy Xander finally pulled it open, rubbing his eyes and letting Xiang in. 

"I was about to call the Motel 6," Xiang commented snidely, throwing his duffle bag on the floor next to the door. He strode into the kitchen, looking for a snack. The mission had gone fine, but he still found himself in a rotten mood as he bent to search through the cabinet for a rice cooker. 

It had been about a month and a half since Shanghai, and it just occurred to Xiang as he rifled through pots and pans and crock pots that he'd never actually tried to cook rice at Xander's place. 

"Don't you have a rice cooker?" he snapped, straightening again and peering up Xander's other cabinets. 

"A what?" Xander asked sleepily. He was wearing only sleep pants, leaning against one of the counters. "Can't you just steam it?" 

Xiang clenched his jaw, not even bringing himself to look at Xander. Xander read his posture, evidently noting the tenseness in his shoulders. "What?" 

"I can order some takeout," he said, an apologetic undertone making Xiang feel bad about his rough response. 

"Forget about it," Xiang waved him off. "I don't need it. You have some ramen?" 

Xander nodded, slowly opening his pantry and grabbing a packet out. Xiang took out one of the pots he'd seen in his search for a rice cooker. 

"You can go to bed," Xiang said as he took the ramen. "Sorry I woke you up." It  _ was _ 3am, after all. Xander smiled tiredly and went back to the bedroom. 

Xiang stayed up another half hour, trying to move as quietly as possible as he changed into sleep clothes and crawled into bed. It was fruitless as it turned out, since Xander immediately rolled over to throw an arm over Xiang's chest. 

"Tomorrow," Xander said, slurring his words slightly. "We'll go get a rice cooker, if you want." His warm breath washed over Xiang's neck, tickling a little. "And we'll copy you a key." 

Xiang smiled fondly, knowing Xander couldn't see in the dark of the room (if his eyes were even open). "Get some sleep." 

 

**\--**

Xander was a pushy guy. 

Xiang had known that all along, of course. And it wasn't like Xiang wasn't pushy himself. 

Sometimes it's nice. He has pushed Xiang into agreeing to a variety of date ideas he wouldn't have otherwise. He gets pushy after sex, nuzzling into Xiang's neck or hair or against his back. 

So, sometimes his pushiness was endearing. 

Other times, it was more than irritating. 

Xiang had respected it when Xander requested there be no alcohol at the apartment. That was fine, Xiang had no problem with it. 

Or, he  _ wouldn't _ if Xander didn't also lecture him whenever he came back later in the evening after he visited the bar. Six months after Shanghai, and Xiang could see the issue coming to a boiling point. 

This time, it took Xiang a few tries to get the key in the hole and open the door, only to find it was left unlocked. He pushed the door open, carefully hanging his jacket on the rack he'd put in beside the door. He slipped off his shoes and put them on the shoe rack. 

Xander was watching TV, so he sat beside him and kicked his feet up on the coffee table. 

"Where have you been?" Xander asked, tone forcibly neutral. Xiang winced and rolled his eyes before he could stop himself. 

"Out," he said. He dropped his head to rest on Xander's shoulder, hoping Xander would let it go. 

"Get off, you smell like liquor. What, you spill it all over yourself?" he said, shrugging Xiang off of him. 

"What's your deal?" Xiang said, frowning at him. Maybe he should've waited till Xander went to sleep. 

"When I said I didn't want you to drink  _ here _ , I didn't intend for you to go out every night and come back drunk," Xander said tersely, switching channels on the TV. 

Xiang grimaced at him. "Well, what am I supposed to do?" 

Xander looked at him, astonished. "What are you supposed to do?" He muted the television, turning on Xiang. "I don't know, Xiang. Not go out drinking five nights a week? Sometimes, you know, I like to be able to plan dinner." 

"I wouldn't go out if I could have something here," Xiang pointed out. 

Xander glared. "That's not the point." 

"Then what is the point? You don't want me going out, you don't want me drinking, you don't want a lot of things. You're so fucking controlling," Xiang said, standing up and going to find something to eat in the kitchen. Xander followed him. 

"You don't know the difference between someone being controlling and someone trying to care about you." 

"Maybe I don't care about the difference-- if this is how you show you care then you can get fucked," Xiang said, already regretting what he'd said. He opened the fridge. 

Xander put a hand on the fridge door, slamming it shut before Xiang could get a look inside. Xiang curled his hands into fists, crossing his arms defiantly. 

" _ What _ ? What do you want?" 

"I want you to listen to me for once," Xander said. 

"How about you listen to me? I told you to get fucked." 

Xiang could see the muscle in Xander's forehead clench as he tightened his jaw. Xander yanked the fridge door open again, grabbed a water bottle from the door. He shoved it into Xiang's hand and shut the door again. 

"Go to bed. In the guest room. I don't wanna see you before morning."

"What?" Xiang snarled. 

"Go to bed," Xander said again, voice dangerous low. 

"No!" Xiang exclaimed. "Fuck you!" 

"I'm not dealing with you tonight. Go to bed or get out." 

"I don't have to--" 

"Are you fifty three or thirteen? Can you understand me? Go to bed."

"You're so fucking annoying, Xander," he spat, grabbing a protein bar off the counter. "Maybe I  _ will _ go. I'm fucking tired of you." Xiang didn't go, though. He didn't even know why he said that as he pulled open the guest room door. He slammed the door shut behind him and sat on the cheap mattress.

He didn't even brush his teeth yet, but he didn't feel like going back out there. 

He laid back, let his head hit the pillow. 

Hopefully Xander knew he didn't really  _ mean _ all that he'd said. 

He ate the protein bar absently, legs crossed at the ankle. After a moment of thought, sat up, struggling to shuck off his button up shirt as he held the half eaten protein bar between his teeth. His undershirt bundled under his armpits, and he batted it back down to his hips. 

He threw the bar's wrapper on the ground beside the bed, crossed his arms, and rolled to the side. Despite the feeling of sand filling up his stomach, knowing it was guilt and knowing he'd have to address it tomorrow, he might as well try to get some sleep. 

Sure, he could go back out and try to drunkenly talk it out with Xander, but Xiang's personal preferred method of conflict resolution was ignoring the problem. 

So he sat there, try to will himself to sleep on top of the blanket, for the better part of an hour. He could hear the low volume of the television, could hear Xander moving around in the kitchen. Every sound had him alert, hoping maybe Xander would figure he wasn't asleep yet and break the silence first. 

Another half hour went by before the TV was shut off. The floor creaked in the hall as Xander went toward the bedroom door. 

He paused. A soft knock at the guest room door before the door clicked open. 

“Xiang?” he asked softly. “Are you awake?”

Xiang turned over to face the door. “Yeah.” He winced at the roughness of his voice. 

Xander let out a small sigh. He stepped inside, closed the door, crossed the room to sit on the edge of the bed, not turning to face Xiang. 

“I’m sorry,” Xiang said, laying back flat on the bed. “I--”

“Let’s talk in the morning.” Xander shifted, reaching down to grab the shirt Xiang had discarded. “Come to our bed,” he said, “Just stay on your side, you smell like a bar.”

_ Our bed _ . Xiang hadn’t even thought of it that way. He smiled at that as he sat up, following Xander back to the room.  _ Our room _ . 

It was probably the alcohol that had him forgetting the ‘stay on your side’ clause.  _ Our bed _ . He tried to scoot to the middle, hands feeling for Xander’s before Xander put a hand in the middle of his chest and shoved him back over. 

“ _ Stay _ on  _ your _ side,” Xander repeated. He couldn’t keep the slight laugh out of his voice, though. 

\--

They talked over coffee. Xander agreed that having a  _ little _ something around the apartment would be fine, if it meant Xiang wouldn’t spend whole evenings at the closest bar when he wanted one drink. 

He was weird as they talked, though. Under normal circumstances, Xiang would ignore it. But it was really hard to ignore his hulking boyfriend holding the mug of coffee in both hands and staring at it, trying to casually ignore Xiang’s questioning looks. 

“Alright,” Xiang said. “What’s up? You don’t like our compromise?” 

“That’s not it.” 

Xiang raised an eyebrow. Xander sighed. 

“I mean, that’s kind of it. I’d rather you drink at home than out somewhere else,” he conceded. He hesitated. 

“But…?” Xiang pressed. 

Xander took a long drink of his coffee. 

"There was another Triple X agent, before Darian." Xander frowned. "And there has only been one triple X agent to die-- that I know of, of course.” He glanced at Xiang and clarified, “I didn't know about you or Serena or Talon or Hawk," Xander said, stalling. "Her name was Yelena."

Xiang tilted his head to this side, shaking it slightly in confusion. 

Xander laughed humorlessly. "She was..." he trailed off. "She was really amazing.”

"We lived together for four years-- moving around, having a few weeks to have fun between the missions Gibbons gave us," he said. He gathered his thoughts. "I asked her to marry me three times. It was almost like a running gag between us. We'd finish a mission, and go out for dinner afterwards and I'd ask her, and she'd laugh at me and go off to some party. She never relaxed-- just like her time under cover, she always felt like she had to look over her back-- unless she was on something."

Xander choked, glaring at the mug in his hands.

"Xander?" Xiang asked. He had an idea of where this was going. 

Xander shut his eyes for a long moment. 

“I just don’t want that to happen again.” 

Xiang reached across the table and pried one of Xander’s hands off the mug and held it tight. 

\--

“Five people, right?” Xander asked, fixing the collar of his pullover. 

“Yep,” Xiang said, leaning over from the driver’s side to pull at the back of the collar where it was still folded the opposite way. “Shouldn’t take me more than a half hour to pick them up and circle back, yeah?” 

“‘S long as the traffic at the terminal isn’t bad.” 

“She said it didn’t look too bad,” Xiang said, checking his phone again. His sister, her husband and their son were waiting at the airport. Xander, not wanting to be there right when Xiang picked them up, offered to get in line for a table at the pasta restaurant not far from their apartment. 

Xander leaned over, kissed Xiang on the cheek and pushed open the door. “I’ll see you in a bit,” he said. 

Xiang didn’t really know how to prep for seeing the family-- he had only met his brother-in-law in the hospital hallway. Surely, he looked like a total mess that time. He hadn’t even met his nephew, who was the reason they were coming to California at all. He started at UCLA in a few weeks, and they were helping him move in. 

His sister had told him his nephew, Xizen, got the same jawline that Xiang had gotten from his mother. It was a Huang trait, he supposed. 

It wasn’t hard to spot Tianai-- his sister had always worn the most flamboyant brightly colored sweaters. Today’s was striped pink and blue. 

The boy, who must be Xizen, stood to her side, obviously feeling out of place but trying to be cool about it with his arms crossed and eyes glued to a car across the street from him. 

And then the brother-in-law. Dequan. Stuffy old sweater and embarrassing haircut. Xiang mentally reigned in his judgment as he pulled into a spot near them. 

He patted his hair, making sure it was entirely gelled in place, before he stepped out and waved them down. Tianai all but ran across the traffic, pulling Xiang into a hug as her husband and son followed with the bags. Xiang popped the trunk, took the huge, pink luggage from Dequan. 

“ _ Don’t hurt yourself, _ ” Xiang warned teasingly. Tianai hit his arm, but he saw Xizen quirk a smile. Dequan didn’t rise to the prod. 

Tianai gave short introductions, which Xiang humored before reminding them he had someone waiting for them at the restaurant. 

Sure, it was more awkward having Xander at lunch than it would’ve been without him, what with the unspoken implication of his presence, or how obviously Dequan kept glancing at him. But it wasn’t as if they hadn’t already met Xander, however brief. And hey, the pullover covered his tattoos, at least (and what was uncovered by his (ugly) cargo shorts wasn’t visible through the table, so). 

It was hard to start a conversation with Xizen as they ate. Either he gave monosyllabic responses, or Tianai cut in to answer for him. Xiang still didn’t miss the way he looked at Xander, a question obviously on the tip of his tongue. 

It wasn’t until after they paid and left the table, standing around outside, Dequan checking the plan with other family members in the area as Tianai anxiously tried to plan another meetup with Xiang before they left, that Xizen said something to Xander. Xiang only noticed out of the corner of his eye as he tried to assure Tianai that he’d be around, but it made him smile. 

Xander was laughing with Xizen, clasping a hand on his shoulder and saying something that was probably entirely too uncle-like. 

Dequan anxiously ushered his wife and son toward a train station. His cousin lived two stops up, apparently, and they were already waiting. Xiang couldn’t help from flashing an annoyed look at the back of Dequan’s head. Xander and Xiang strolled with them, Xiang in the front with Tianai and Dequan, Xander behind beside Xizen.  

“Oh,” Tianai said, getting Xiang’s attention again as they neared the stop. “You should give Xizen your phone number,” she said. 

“I have Xander’s,” Xizen said. 

Xiang raised a brow at Xander, who shrugged with a grin. 

“Turns out the kid likes video games.” Xizen grinned, too. Xiang grimaced. “I’m going back to get the car,” Xander continued. “I’ll pick you up. See you around kid,” he said, turning back to Xizen. 

Xiang nodded, waving Xander off. He took out a pack of cigarettes, offering one to Tianai. Dequan frowned as they lit up, until Xiang offered one to him as well. 

“ _ I’ll buy our tickets _ ,” Dequan said when they got close to the station, dropping his less-than-half used cigarette. Xiang grimaced at the back of his head as he went to the pay station. 

Tianai read his expression as easily as ever and laughed. “ _ I know _ ,” she said. “ _ You don’t like him. Thanks for putting up.”  _

Xiang looked at her over his cigarette as he took another drag. She was maybe twenty five before he went to special ops. She’d gotten older-- just like he had, of course-- but it was weird to see his little sister, adult son at her side, wrinkles at the corner of her eyes and around her mouth. 

He glanced over her shoulder, spotted the car two blocks down. He took one more long drag and dropped his cigarette. Tianai raised a questioning brow. 

“ _ Don’t want him to see _ ,” Xiang said, nodding toward Xander. Tianai smiled at him conspiratorially. 

“ _ I’m happy for you, you know _ ,” she said. “ _ You two work well. _ ” 

Xiang swallowed, smiled. 

“ _ I’ll see you soon, right? _ ” she asked earnestly. 

“ _ Before you leave, we’ll go to karaoke like we used to _ .” She grinned at that. “ _ Promise _ .” 

\--

It was early in the morning following a successful mission, and Xander was driving them back to their apartment. The streets were empty and damp from the rain that had come through earlier in the evening. 

Xiang sat perfectly still in the passenger seat, head tilted back as he stared at the ceiling of the car. He wasn’t  _ drunk _ , just buzzed. Bored, he tapped his fingers on the car door handle following a pattern he didn’t know. 

As they pulled up to a red light, Xander glanced over at him. At some point during the drive Xander’s hand had wandered from the stick to settle on Xiang’s thigh, and Xiang hadn’t reacted, just like he didn’t react to Xander’s gaze now. He licked his lips, blinked, making it a show for Xander-- a show that he knew had Xander’s whole attention when the light turned green and they continued to sit there. 

Slowly he turned to face Xander, couldn’t resist the slow smirk that spread across his face when he found Xander still shamelessly staring at him, a soft look in his eyes.

Xander returned the smile. Despite wanting to, Xiang didn’t roll his eyes. 

“Eyes on the road, Xander,” he said, voice scratchy. 

“Right,” Xander said. Xiang laughed at him softly as they rolled forward. 

\--

Xiang nipped at Xander’s throat, eliciting a laugh as Xander pushed him to the other side of their apartment door so he could figure out fitting the key into the handle. The lock  _ always _ gave them troubles, but tonight Xiang didn’t feel like trying to help. No, Xiang was feeling good-- if a little hot-- as his hands wandered into his own jacket and pushed the leather off his shoulders. 

“Keep that for when we get inside, huh?” Xander said, finally getting the key to unlock the shitty door to their apartment.

Xiang chuckled, pulling his jacket back firmly on his frame and following Xander, grabbing at Xander’s hips as soon as the door was shut. Xander laughed, grabbing Xiang’s hands in return and pulling them under his arms so Xiang pressed flat against his back, his protests muffled in Xander’s shoulder as he led them to the kitchen. 

He’d only drank enough to get a buzz, and Xander knew that. Even so, he held Xiang’s hands firmly against his stomach and grabbed a glass to fill with tap water, turning around and shoving it in Xiang’s face. Xiang would protest, except he  _ was _ a little thirsty. Besides, Xander wouldn’t let it go. 

WIth an eye roll, Xiang took the glass and downed it. He reached behind Xander to set the glass down and settled his other hand on the counter on the other side of Xander’s hips, grinning up at him like a cat that got the cream. 

“Well?” Xiang said. “We’re inside.” He brought his shoulder up high, rubbed his chin against the leather like he was going to shimmy out of it. “Can you get that for me?” he asked, grin widening. 

Xander laughed, sliding his hands into the warm pocket between Xiang’s shoulders and the jacket, obviously feeling up the musculature there and leaning down to press his grin against Xiang’s. 

Xander’s hands wandered to the back of his jacket, finding the collar and yanking it down, the shoulders of it falling down to catch on Xiang’s biceps, pulling his hands away from the counter and to Xiang’s side. Xiang flashed him a surprised look before Xander pushed Xiang against the side of the fridge and chased his mouth, sucking his lower lip into his mouth when Xiang gasped. 

Xander let his hands explore, one grabbing a handful of hair with that firm touch that made Xiang melt against him while the other groped his ass. Xiang was feeling  _ real  _ good. 

Xiang let his head loll back against the fridge even and hooked one leg over Xander’s hip. Xander kissed along his jaw to his ear, teasing the lobe with his teeth and XIang couldn’t hold in the whimper that escaped his throat. Slowly, Xiang rolling his shoulders, letting the leather fall off his arms without Xander noticing. He dropped the jacket to the floor.

Xiang savored the surprised expression on Xander’s face when he wrapped his arms securely around Xander’s neck before he jumped and hooked his other leg around Xander’s waist. Xander quickly tightened his hold on Xiang’s backside, crowding in to press Xiang back against the fridge. 

Xiang, knowing how close he just got to being dropped, grinned against Xander’s mouth. 

Xiang rolled his hips against Xander, being a shit because he knew how loose of grip Xander had on him and he wanted to challenge him. Xander detangled his hand from Xiang's hair and grabbed his upper thigh, both to support more of his weight and probably to get a firmer handle on Xiang's movements. 

The fridge was cold against Xiang's exposed skin where his shirt was riding up, but he couldn't pay that much mind when Xander was kissing his collar bones, nipping at the edges and lathing his tongue in the valley between his collar and his throat. Xiang groaned, redoubling his efforts in grinding against Xander's stomach. 

He could feel himself hardening against Xander's abs, and suddenly there was nothing he wanted more than to be on his knees and get Xander as interested as he was. 

"We gonna stay here all night or what?" Xiang said, meaning to spur Xander into action. He earned a laugh low against his throat. 

"We just got here babe." Xiang rolled his eyes, but instinctively tightened his legs around Xander's hips when he felt his back leave the fridge. Suddenly, he was being sat on the counter, legs pushed open as Xander crowded in between them. 

Xiang expected neck kisses, let his head fall to the side to give Xander access, but was surprised when Xander rested his hand on the side of Xiang's face, bringing his head back up. His thumb rested on the crinkle at the corner of his eye, fingers spread over the side of his jaw. The pause before Xander kissed him was long enough that Xiang gave him a questioning look, the responding chuckle muffled against Xiang's mouth. 

Hands on Xander's shoulders, knees pressed in again his hips, Xiang expected the kiss to be harder, for a hand on the back of his head and lower back to pull him in tight. Xander's hand stayed where they were on his hips, though, just sitting there and letting Xiang do the work of pushing in against Xander's chest. 

It hadn't even been that stressful of a mission, just a little fire and a few explosions-- but that came as an unspoken bonus in their line of work. There wasn’t anything from the mission that explained Xander’s weird behavior, in Xiang’s mind. 

So it was that much more frustrating how Xander pulled away from any attempt of Xiang's to deepen the kiss. Xiang made a frustrated sound in his throat, pulling on Xander's shoulders. Again, all it earned him was a laugh and Xander nuzzling against his throat. 

"Such a hurry tonight," Xander said, voice low enough to send a shiver up the base of Xiang's spine. 

"You're such an asshole tonight," Xiang shot back, too impatient to think of something clever. 

Xander just leaned his head on Xiang's shoulder, flashing him a fond smile. Xiang returned it with a glare and a shove to Xander's chin. Xander tutted in his ear, finally pulling Xiang flush against him. 

"You want better scenery, is that it? Well then let's go," he laughed, picking Xiang up again and letting him scramble to wrap his legs around Xander and grab hold of his shoulders again. 

Xiang took advantage of the situation, arching his back so he could grab Xander's chin and make him look up at him, tipping his head back and kissing him thoroughly. 

Xander carefully maneuvered them into their room, setting Xiang on the edge of the bed and kneeling between his legs, arms still around Xiang at his hips, letting Xiang lean down and continue their kiss. He grinned up at Xiang when they pulled apart, hands starting to play in the hem of his shirt. His slid his open palms up Xiang's lower back, moving to press his mouth against Xiang's pecs and ribs. 

Xiang sighed, hands resting on the curve where Xander's neck met his shoulder. Still, Xiang wasn't satisfied by what Xander was doing for him. 

"Get up here," Xiang said, pulling at Xander's bicep to bring him up level with Xiang's face. "On the bed." 

Xander did as asked, sat beside him after stealing a peck on the lips. Xiang didn't waste time in pushing Xander back, gesturing for him to scoot up the bed and following him, pulling his own shirt off before getting his hands under Xander's. 

What was really frustrating about Xander was how he always seemed to be so composed-- whether a gun was being waved in his face or he was getting fucked out of his mind, he still retained some sense of composure that Xiang couldn't stand. 

That's part of why he didn't bother taking his shirt all the way off. Somewhere deep down, Xiang thought Xander looked much better with his shirt partially pushed up, framing his pecs where it was rumpled up under his armpits. Xiang braced one hand in the middle of Xander's chest as he unbuttoned Xander's pants with the other, shoving them down just a few inches to wrap his hand around his dick and pull it out. 

He was hard-- which usually made him work that much faster to get Xiang in bed. Not tonight, for whatever reason. 

"What is up with you today?" Xiang asked, pulling Xander out of his trousers. He stroked him, hand loose but firm when he twisted his wrist at the head. Xander let out a sigh through clenched teeth, grabbing above his head for a pillow and shoving it under his head so he could watch easier. 

"I don't know what you mean," he said simply, licking his lips when Xiang reached lower, cupping his balls. Xiang rolled his eyes, positioning himself comfortably between Xander's legs before pressing his lips open mouthed against the head of his dick. Again, Xander rested his hand on the side of his face, thumb on the crinkle of his eyes.

Xiang let himself roll his eyes obviously this time as he took Xander into his mouth. They'd been together long enough that Xiang knew exactly what tricks to pull to have Xander pulling his hair and struggling to keep his hips still in a matter of thirty seconds, and he did just that with a vindictive grin on his face. 

When he pulled back, only taking half of Xander in and working the rest of his length with his hand, Xander replaced his hand high on Xiang's cheek. Xiang acquiesced, closing his eyes and leaning into the hand somewhat. 

Voice low, almost too low to hear, Xiang heard him say, "You're so cute." 

Xiang opened his eyes, brows furrowed, and let Xander slip out of his mouth. "What did you just say?" 

"I--" a blush creeped up Xander's face as he blustered, that famous composure finally slipping. "Nothing." 

"Did you just call me cute?" 

Xander laughed breathily as Xiang crawled up his body to loom over him, arms braced on either side of his head. 

"Maybe I did," Xander said, still avoided looking in Xiang's eyes. "What's the problem?" 

"Well," Xiang said, deciding to push his advantage and tease Xander thoroughly. "It's an odd comment when you're in the middle of having your dick sucked, see? I'd rather you be saying 'oh Xiang, you're so good at this, you're so sexy.' See the difference?" 

Xander looked away, covering his embarrassment with a hearty laugh. Xiang wouldn’t let it slide that easy, though. He grabbed Xander’s chin and made him look at him again. 

“Well,” Xander said before Xiang could squeeze in another clever comment. “You’re that too.” Having his wits about him again apparently, Xander grabbed the back of Xiang’s neck and rolled them. 

Xiang laughed at the shameless attempt at distraction when Xander started nipping at the delicate skin behind his ear, hands groping at Xiang's chest. Xander's shirt fell back down over his chest and stomach and gave a comedic effect when Xander leaned back to look at Xiang, the only bit of skin exposed now being his erection. 

Xiang didn't even try to hide his laughter. Xander, still blushing from before, sighed dramatically and forlornly and pulled his shirt off all together, pushing his trousers down to his thighs before unbuttoning Xiang's as well. He yanked them down, taking his boxers with.

But instead of doing anything fun now that they were both nearly naked, Xander wrapped his arms around Xiang's shoulders and neck, one hand gripping the base of his skull before he leaned in for a demanding kiss. Their chests pressed together, Xiang's legs spread to accommodate Xander's waist between them, Xiang now boxed in by Xander's thick biceps. 

Xander swiped his tongue across Xiang's lower lip and Xiang opened his mouth to the kiss on a deep, content sigh. Xander pulled back then, frustratingly. 

"See, that was sexy  _ and _ cute," he said with a grin. 

"Shut the fuck up Xander," Xiang admonished him, trying to follow his mouth. Xander had another idea, apparently, as he dodged Xiang's peck and shoved his face under Xiang's chin. Neck kisses were nice and all, but Xiang was distracted by the warm weight digging into the between his thigh and hip. 

He wrapped his arms around Xander's neck once again, trying to hook his ankle around his lower back once again but being thwarted by the jeans he still had around his knees. 

"Xander," he said, letting his voice turn into a whine since that's apparently 'cute' to Xander tonight. He felt a puff of laughter silenced against his throat, the hand at the back of his head squeezing lightly before the fingered ran through the short hair there. 

"Yeah babe?" 

"Hurry it up or I'll fall asleep before we get anywhere." 

More warm breath puffed against his throat. He reached down between them, squeezed Xiang’s hard-on. “Somehow I doubt that.” 

Xiang let out a rough, frustrated sigh, which just earned him Xander’s smile in his face, pressing their foreheads together. Xiang furrowed his brows and frowned, not meaning for it to look like a pout but realizing at Xander’s grin that it was pretty pouty. Before Xiang could make another annoyed sound, Xander was pressing their lips together once again, soft and near hesitant. 

He pulled back for a second before pressing in again, more firmly but still too soft. Xiang opened his mouth, inviting him to deepen it, but still Xander pulled back and readjusted his chaste kisses until Xiang was breathless under him. Xiang kept his eyes shut-- not that he’d even noticed he’d closed them-- as Xander spread kisses across his cheeks and jaw. 

He was just being annoying, anyway, Xiang told himself. Xander paused with his lips against Xiang’s temple, which Xiang would deny tilting his head and leaning into until the day he died. Xander dragged his hand up the back of Xiang’s head, scratching his scalp with blunt nails that made Xiang shudder against him. 

“I love you,” Xander said, voice going low again. 

Xiang went cold with a flash of anxiety before he brought himself down again. They’d talked about this-- Xiang wasn’t under any obligation to say it back. Xander knew better than to expect it for a long time, if ever. 

Still, Xander stayed there for a long moment, like he was waiting for something. 

“Yes,” Xiang said, hoping to snap Xander out of his reverie. Xander sighed into his hair. 

“I…” Xander said. Not feeling cruel, Xiang squeezed Xander’s shoulders closer. Xander adjusted, nosing at the sensitive skin behind Xiang’s ear. Right beside his ear, he all but whispered “I want to make love to you.” 

The words went through Xiang like an electric current and he tensed accordingly, arms tightening around Xander’s neck and toes curling. He didn’t know what to say. 

“Too much?” Xander asked, voice small. 

Xander knew that sometimes he pushed too far. 

It’s not that Xiang didn’t like the idea-- sometimes he found himself thinking about it, maybe even daydreaming. But he didn’t know how to handle these kinds of comments thrown out of the blue. ‘Cute’ he could laugh off. ‘I love you’ he was used to. Making love was… a new comment. 

Xander grinded down against him minutely, reminding Xiang that whatever they called it, it was still  _ sex _ . Even slowed down, more tender than usual, sex was sex. 

But Xiang was tired. It was a weak excuse, but the mission had been taxing (more so on Xiang, who was on the ground and running for most of the day when Xander was sitting back and talking down baddies). (Turns out, Xiang could just say anything about missions, anyway. One minute they weren’t too intense, next minute, actually, they  _ were _ pretty tiring). 

"Xiang?" Xander asked again. 

"Maybe another time," Xiang said. He wished he didn't sound so choked. In his defense, Xander was laying most of his weight on Xiang's chest and stomach, so it was unavoidable. "I really am tired." 

Xiang felt Xander wet his lower lip and nod before he kissed his temple again. 

Xander shifted back to shuck off both their pants. He crowded down again, latching his mouth onto Xiang's throat as he took them both in hand and stroked them off. Legs now free, Xiang finally hitched his ankle behind Xander's hip and was able to thrust back against his grip. 

Xiang almost forgot about Xander's earlier behavior, almost forgot about the rest of the  _ world _ with Xander's hand tightening around them, until he heard Xander mutter again. 

"So fucking cute." 

Again, Xiang grabbed Xander's jaw and made him look at him again. "I get it, okay," he said, kissing him roughly. "I look good. Tell me something I don't know." 

Xander grinned, blushing again for being overheard before he pressed into kiss Xiang again. He pushed him firmly back into the mattress, his hand slowing on their cocks. 

"You don't just  _ look _ good, babe. The things you  _ do _ are cute." Xiang rolled his eyes. "Like when you're thinking hard and you frown in that one way that makes your eyes crinkle." He whispered. "Or the way you smile and show your whole mouth of teeth like a shark." 

Xiang scoffed, frowning against the burn that spread over his cheeks. 

“See,” Xander said, hand cupping one of Xiang’s red cheeks, “Everything you do is just…” He took a moment, obviously looking for a better word. “Cute.” 

“You’re laying on a bit thick tonight,” Xiang said.

“I can’t help it,” Xander said, kissing his brow. “But you said tell you something you didn’t know.” He trailed kisses over Xiang’s cheekbone as his thumb ran over the other side of his face. His hand moved slowly, the combined sensations making Xiang bite his lip.

Xiang felt his blush spreading up his ears and down his neck, blotching over his collarbones. Xander’s hand inched toward his hair, fingers sliding up the soft skin behind his ear and rubbing his thumb over the shell in that way he knew made Xiang go lax. 

“You want to know what else I love about you?” Xander said, so softly against Xiang’s cheek. “You focus on what you want,” he said, kissing his cheekbone once. “And you’re confident,” he kissed the hollow of his cheek. “And… you’re damn innovative,” he said with a kiss to Xiang’s jaw and a laugh against his neck. “I still can’t believe you fucking jumped off a bridge into traffic that time. Stupid, but innovative.” 

“The grenades weren’t innovative?” Xiang asked with fake annoyance, breath short from the kisses and the way Xander was grinding his hips down against him now, inescapably slow. 

Xander puffed a laugh against his throat again. 

“God, but you know what I really love?” He kissed the corner of his jaw. “No matter how you hide it, you’re the sweetest thing.” 

“Bah,” Xiang said, having enough of it. He shook his head, trying to dislodge Xander from under his chin. Xander slid his hand into Xiang’s hair though, pressing his cheek to Xiang’s. “Nope.” Xiang wrapped his arms closer around Xander’s head. 

Xander laughed, the deep rumble in his ear. “You are, though.” 

“Nope.” 

“Listen--” 

“No,” Xiang said, trying to pull Xander against his face to smother his words. 

Xander’s hand left their dicks suddenly, sliding up Xiang’s stomach to poke him right in the ribs, forcing Xiang’s kneejerk reaction to being hit in the sensitive spot. Xander took his chance to escape Xiang’s tight embrace and grin down at him. 

“Listen up, sweetie,” Xander said cheekily, scratching his nails over Xiang’s scalp again. “You care about your team. You watch over your own, you know?” 

Xiang scowled at him. 

“I admire that, babe, that’s what I’m saying.” 

“But ‘sweet’?” 

“I never claimed to be a wordsmith. Sweetie.” 

Xiang frowned at him again. 

Xander looked like he was trying to hard to keep his mouth shut despite his grin, he really did. But still, it didn’t stop him from saying, “Cute.” 

“I swear to god,” Xiang exclaimed, throwing his head back against the pillow in frustration. “If you don’t stop talking, I  _ will _ fall asleep.

“I’m  _ sorry _ babe,” Xander said, his grin widening again, settling back to nuzzle at Xiang’s neck . “Where were we?” 

Xander couldn’t say such embarrassing sappy things if he was sucking on Xiang’s neck he reasoned, placing his hand square on Xander’s neck and pulling him in closer. Xander braced an elbow over Xiang’s head, pressing his hips in close against Xiang again. 

Xiang glided his hand over Xander’s shoulder, groping the sculpted muscles of his lower back until he could grab a handful of his ass, pulling him closer. Xander’s hand was closing around them again, his strokes rougher. 

Judging by the way Xander was arching his chest, breathing harsh against Xiang’s throat, Xander was close. Xander knew it too, and Xiang felt him readjusting his hand, letting his own dick fall from his hand so he could focus his attention on Xiang, grip tight and unrelenting, teasing the head. Xander leaned up to kiss Xiang, nipping his lower lip the way he knew Xiang liked. He swallowed every sound Xiang let out, no doubt savoring the way Xiang was grasping at his shoulder desperately. 

His orgasm caught him by surprise, his hips stuttering against Xander’s as he came. Xander’s hand softened around him, almost just playing with him as he came down. 

Xiang sighed against Xander’s mouth when he finally dropped his softening cock to take himself in hand again. It didn’t take him long at all to be gasping, coming on Xiang’s stomach. Xiang pulled Xander into a wet kiss as Xander panted against him. 

Xander broke it in a moment, nuzzling his face into the crook of Xiang’s neck again and all but collapsing atop him. Looking past the cum drying on their stomachs for now, Xiang basked in the fuzzy warmth. 

Xiang groped Xander’s ass absent mindedly, earning a half chuckle and Xander’s nose rubbing against his shoulder. Xiang returned the laugh, pressing a weak kiss to the side of Xander’s face he could reach. 

“Okay, roll over,” Xiang said finally, shoving at the side of Xander’s head. Xander hummed, rolled onto his back without opening his eyes. Xiang grabbed the towel he kept on the bedside table, rubbing it over his own chest and abs before turning to Xander and wiping him down too and throwing the towel back to the side of the bed. 

Missing the warmth, he curled up against Xander’s side, throwing his arm over his broad chest. 

“So what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Xiang mumbled. 

Xander wrapped his arm around Xiang’s shoulders. “I think we can sleep in and I’ll make us breakfast,” he said, his words ghosting over Xiang’s hair. 

Xiang hummed against his shoulder. Xander was a good enough cook when it came to eggs and toast. Eggs and toast. “Did we get groceries before we had to leave for this last mission?” 

“Oh,” Xander said, “Fuck. Uh, I guess we can sleep in and go  _ out _ for breakfast. We can go someplace nice.” 

“Mmm, that sounds good.” 

“How about that crepe place you like?” 

“Eh, that’s too far away.” 

Xander was quiet for a long second as he thought. “Wait, did we get our jackets to the drycleaners?” 

“Damn, I don’t think so.” 

“Well, the drycleaners is on the way to the crepe place,” Xander reasoned. 

Xiang chuckled. “It is.” 

“Okay, so we can sleep in, gather up our jackets and take them to the drycleaners and get breakfast.” 

“And get groceries on the way back.” 

Xander barked a laugh, “Perfect.” 

With that decided, Xiang yawned and stretched. “Roll over,” he said, his voice stretched on the tail end of the yawn. Xander hummed a question, so Xiang shimmied onto his back and poked his side until Xander got the hint and rolled onto his side facing away from Xiang. 

Xiang sidled up behind him, wrapping one arm around Xander’s middle and curling the other one under his head. Xander covered Xiang’s arm with his own, closing his hand over Xiang’s smaller one. 

Sleepily, he said, “Love you.” 

Xiang swallowed. See, Xiang could count the number of people who had told Xiang they loved him throughout his life on one hand. Half of those people were half as genuine about it, too. 

It wasn’t that Xiang didn’t feel it for Xander-- really, he felt the same way. At this point, it would be cruel to keep this up with Xander if he  _ didn’t _ . 

Xander was very obvious about it. The staring, the compliments, the way they went about living together and doing domestic shit like  _ grocery shopping _ . Xiang had  _ never _ been domestic before, but after living like this with Xander for well over a year now, he didn’t know how to go back. He could if he had to, but he liked what he had. 

And he loved Xander. He was scared to say it, to make himself that vulnerable and exposed, but he did. 

Xiang didn’t realize how tense he’d gotten until Xander was soothing his hand up and down his forearm. Coming back to himself, Xiang hummed and pressed his chest to Xander’s chest reassuringly. 

“Sorry,” he said, kissing Xander’s neck. “I was just thinking.” 

“About what?” Xander asked-- sleepy, yawning curiosity. 

“I…” Xiang swallowed. “About how…” He bit his lip, closed his eyes. “I love you.” 

Xander was quiet for a long moment. Xiang was almost afraid he’d fallen asleep until he was shifting to face Xiang. Still, Xiang kept his eyes closed. “Say that again?” 

Barely above a whisper, “I love you.” 

Too eager, Xander pressed his mouth to Xiang’s, their teeth in danger of clacking. “I love you too.” 

Xiang laughed. “I figured that out.” 

Xander muffled his laugh against Xiang’s mouth. “Who knew I just had to promise your favorite brunch place.” 

Xiang rolled his eyes, knowing it was too dark for Xander to see. 

“Shut up, Xander,” he laughed. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> uhh please excuse editing mistakes, i was too lazy to edit the whole thing :P   
> <3 thanks for reading, please comment!


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